I just returned from a five-day sailing trip around Door County and part of the Big Bay de Noc area in the Upper Peninsula. My father Dan (the Skipper), his brother Mike and myself (the crew) set off in a 1968 Pearson 300 sloop – a sailboat purchased by my grandfather around 1971. My grandparents sailed a lot during their retirement, making winter treks from their home in Annapolis to the Bahamas and logging over 28,000 miles of sailing.
When my grandfather turned 80 in 1998, he called my dad and told him he could have the sailboat, so it was trucked to Sturgeon Bay to begin its next phase of life. The LANIKAI has now been in my dad’s possession for over 20-years as he developed into a salty sailor.
This was my fifth sailing trip with my dad. Our days were a very structured “vacation”, waking each morning at 5:30 am; we cleaned up, made breakfast in the small galley, washed dishes, bought ice, dumped garbage, and got underway for another day of sailing. We took turns raising, lowering or adjusting the sails, driving the boat, making lunch for the crew, etc.; and would sail until arriving at another port around 5:00 pm to utilize the marina’s amenities and take refuge. In the evenings we toured sites off the port, enjoyed dinner on the boat or at a restaurant, and watched a movie before retiring for the evening. Then the cycle repeated itself for the next day. This may sound boring but was very relaxing as most of the time we are outdoors in the cockpit of the sailboat telling stories. Many of these stories I have heard before, sometimes slightly embellished, but good for entertainment value.
This trip, my dad mentioned a story I had never heard before. He had attended a sales conference called Million Dollar Round Table (MDRT). The speaker asked the audience to take out a sheet of paper and write down goals of where they wanted to be in 10 years, and had the participants share their goals – which were mostly about career aspirations, material purchases, and financial milestones. Then the speaker asked the audience to write down where they wanted to be in 20 years. Again, many of the participants wrote down career aspirations, certain wealth purchases, or even a specific dollar amount of money they would accumulate. As discussion continued, many of these goals brought smiles and laughter to the audience.
Then the speaker said… “OK, you went to a Doctor today and discovered you have only 6 months to live – what are you going to do now?” An epiphany occurred, liked being doused with ice water, that those long-term goals may not be so important. Instead, you desire spending as much time as you can with loved ones, or seeking reconciliation for your past atonement. During this exercise, my dad realized he wanted to spend more time with his family. Thus began this tradition of an annual sailing trip with his brother and myself.
This story made me think of how lucky I am to have the opportunity to spend on sailing trips with my father, gaining these precious memories and experiences. My dad passed on a gold nugget of wisdom and left me to wonder what kind of legacy I want to create for my spouse and sons. Right now my sons are very busy making a name for themselves, but my long term goal is to be a role model in their eyes – seeing the relationship I’ve cultivated with my father during our trips.
These sailing trips are truly a gift of legacy – one probably more important than a career aspiration, material purchase, or financial milestones. May you get your gift of legacy and find value in my sea story.